The Football Bog Blog

No.22 in a never ending series..
The ones at Vale Park - a canny walk for a slash!

These toilets are for supporters housed in the top tier of the Railway Stand. The bogs are found next to the turnstiles right at the bottom of the steep walkway which leads up to the back of the stand. This means it's quite a walk to the bog, which can be quite an uncomfortable stroll if your bursting for a slash. (which I can well and truly vouch for)


My Matchday - 275 Vale Park

The Football Bog Blog

During my travels this season there has been a lack of uniqueness in the bog department, many ground seem to have installed those portakabin-bog-on-wheels-type lavatories.
In spite of this many clubs have made the most of these temp netties, by putting their own stamp on the bogs, making them a bit more distinctive.

Bog#14 Christie Park - Morecambe.
This bog is a perfect example of a temporary toilet, with its scaffold hand rail and wooden plank walkway. This toilet is behind the Car Wash Terrace end of the ground and looks more likely to keel over if a gang of oversized pie munchers congregated together on one side.

Bog#15 Croft Park - Blyth
Compare this with the last picture at Morecambe, this is much better, painted in Spartans green and white, with a proper hand rail and metal pathway, this bog is found at the corner of the Plessey Road End terrace, a fine example of making the most of a bog cabin.

Bog#16 Haig Avenue - Southport
These toilets in the corner of the away terrace at Haig Avenue have also been painted in the club colours, which blends this bog block in with the rest of the ground, although it’s definitely in need of a fresh coat of paint to complement the sunshine yellow crash barriers.

Bog#17 Crown Ground - Accrington Stanley
This is a rarity for The Football Bog Blog - a Ladies toilet. These bogs at the Crown Ground’s away end, have a normal brick building for the Gents, but the ladies toilets have a portkabin added beside them. It’s as if no women went to watch football at the ground and toilets were nothing but an afterthought, added due to popular demand.

The Football Bog Blog

Great stadia toilets No.10 in a series of....who knows?
The ones at Skemmy that aren't smeggy!
If you looked at this picture and didn’t already know what it was, you could easily have mistaking it for the players tunnel, it’s designed in a similar way with ladies facilities to the left (away team) and the gents on the right (home team) with a disabled toilet at the back (officials) They are very clean, well maintained and pleasing on the eye, painted in the club colours of blue and white and to set it off; the Unibond League flag perched proudly on top.

The Football Bog Blog

Great stadia toilets, no.11 in a series of...whatever!
The ones at Brandon, the small concrete cube behind the goal
This little concrete cube can be found behind the far goal at Brandon United, I only discovered this bog when leaving the ground near the end of the game, maybe the reason it didn’t come to my attention was because no one used it; and who would? I certainly wouldn’t want to unzip and do my business against this wall, as Brandon can get a bit chilly and is fully exposed to high winds. It’ll take a brave man to use this bog in the winter and like I’ve said; I didn’t witness anyone courageous enough to try it.

The Football Bog Blog

Great Stadia toilets No.9 in a series of.............loads!

The ones at Matlock with the forbidden wheelie bin inside.

The toilets at Matlock’s Causeway Lane ground look quite neat, being a small grey building tucked away in the corner of the ground, facilitating the needs of Ladies and Gents as well as a disabled toilet.

When I had to pay a visit to the bog, for convenience I staggered into the vacant disabled toilet and was astonished to find a big wheelie bin lodged next to the pot, not only was it a bit daft to have this monstrosity inside the building, but on the lid of the bin I was informed via a slap of white paint DO NOT USE, TAKE YOUR RUBBISH HOME, so a bin in a bog that your not allowed to use….why? …..answers via email at the usual address.

The Football Bog Blog

Great Stadia toilets, No.8 in a series of........
The ones at Hyde United with the interior "schimmel growth"

This latest football bog picture was taking by Dutch 100FGC member Joris van de Wier (Squad no.50) on one of his regular groundhopping trips to England, one of the matches he attended took place at Ewen Fields, the home of Hyde United.

This bog is another example of the brick*hit house brand, Joris described it as quite smelly with something growing in the urinal;what the Dutch call 'schimmel', so anyone visiting Ewen Fields can not only see 'The Tigers' in action but also check the progress of whatevers growing inside this football bog.

The Football Bog Blog

Great Stadia Toilets no.7 in a series of.....

The ones at Whitstable with the shrubbery roof.

This football bog can be found at the Belmont Ground, home of the current Kent League Champions Whitstable Town.
I would file this toilet under the “Brick’hit house” category, but it does have a picturesque look to it with the hanging flourishing overgrowth from the roof, that cheekily hides the G for GENTS.
The Oystermen have just gained promotion into the Isthmian League Division One South, so the ground will have lots of new visitors next season, with the pleasure of paying a visit to this football bog.

This photograph comes from David Bauckham's excellent website Pyramid Passions with the picture taking by Simon Harris.

The Football Bog Blog

Great Stadia Toilets no.6 in a series of...

The ones at Nantwich with the felt pen sign.

This football bog resided at Jackson Avenue, which up until the end of last season was the home of Nantwich Town.
This toilet is the basic concrete wall edition, which thanks to the help of a decent black magic marker let’s you know its purpose.
The top picture was captured by David Poole (100FGC squad no.34) when he visited the ground for his Groundhog site, you can read his review here

The bottom picture was snapped by Tim Rigby (100FGC squad no.10) which he says brings a new meaning to writing your name in the snow, or to put it another way piss holes in the snow, you can read Tim’s visit on Tims92 here.

The Football Bog Blog

Great Stadia Toilets No.5 in a series of....

The ones at Dunfermline with the outside mural

The toilets in the North Stand at Dunfermlines East End Park are by far the most picturesque I've seen,there's a mural with paintings of Dunfermiline's managers from the past,as well as the club crest and the words 'Come On Ye Pars' written in tall black letters,there are black and white painted walls inside and this long white wall connects both Gents and Ladies bogs.

The Football Bog Blog

Great Stadia Toilets no.4 in a series of..........
The ones in the old Gallowgate End on the stairs
















Entrance in to the old Gallowgate End at St James Park was at the back of the terrace,this meant a walk up several flights of stairs,the toilets were only noticable due to the black painted walls,with the word MEN painted black on a white square background at the entrance.There were five sets of stairways leading up into the Gallowgate End but no Ladies facilities (wifey's bogs eventually appeared next to the turnstiles) obviously the thought of a female going to a football match was unheard of when the ground was built in the late 19th Century.
It was a major inconvenience to go to the bog during the match,stories of people pissing in your pocket or pissing in a shoe aren't an urban myth,I remember on several occasions a sudden gap appearing,with people suddenly appearing to be running for their lives on the terraces,only to find a drunken Geordie proudly urinating his several pre-match Brown Ale for all to see,a bit like that 'Manneken Pis' statue in Brussels,but wearing a black and white shirt.

(Photograph taking by legendary photographer Stuart Clarke as part of his 'Homes of Football' series)

The Football Bog Blog

Great stadia toilets
no.3 in a series of...

The ones at Thornaby
in the ugly grey
concrete building.

.

The toilets at Teesdale Park typify the need for the ground development to go ahead,this nettie looks very old and dated inside with the spiders webs on the ceiling adding to the overall mood of this football bog.

The Football Bog Blog

Great Stadia Toilets

N0.2 in a series of...

The ones at Prudhoe with the outside locks.

.

The second in a new regular feature inspired by the picture taking at the toilets at Ashtons Hurst Cross.

-

This football bog at Kimberley Park is maybe unique,there's bolts on the outside of the toilet doors but not on the inside,so how can you do your business with confidence?

There's that fear of getting locked inside,so I didn't pluck up the courage to make a visit until there was a major incident on the field,this meant everyone was distracted and I could sneak in and out unnoticed,mission accomplished! I emerged to find everyone still swearing at the referee so I got away with it,but one thing I did notice was no one else had the bottle to attempt such a daring task during the 90 minutes,except yours truly.